I want to take a minute to write to you personally about our camp experience. As I look back at my expectations and anxieties preparing to come to camp I realized that all my expectations were met and more. I learned something really important about myself and about Makush, and our relationship. I know I could not have learned these things without the unleashed experience. Its not that Makush has never been
unleashed, we have a huge play yard, he plays often with friends, but you of all people must know there is something very different about the experience of being unleashed at camp. Something that is not easily put into words. But here is my best try.
All of my training and time with dogs has always been so structured and people directed. Sit when I tell you, come when called, down when directed. I came to camp with a thought just kind of floating in the back of my mind, not fully developed or processed, that maybe Makush could, for once in his life be in control of his own life and make his own decisions for just a few short days. I really believe that we all, humans and canines, look for this in life. For him to be able to do this though it was not really him who had to change, it was ME! I had to be able to let go, not just of the leash but of so many human concepts about what a dog is and about how humans and dogs relate and live together.
There is so much emotion all mixed up in bonding and attachment to another being. When its a being from a different species I think things become even more complicated. I could not help but worry about him. Will he get lost without me directing him? Will he be safe without me right by his side? I could not help but worry about the strength of our bond. Does he love me enough to stay close? Does he love me enough to come back? I could not help but wonder about how the world would see us. What will other people think of my dog? Will they judge me and him for "misbehavior"?
During the weekend as I considered my worry over these questions, I began to think what might my boy be thinking? what might his perspective be? Of course the best I could do was imagine his questions from a human standpoint. Will she really unclip my leash? Does she know how much I love her? Does she trust me enough to keep myself safe? Does she know how great I am in the woods, that I am the one who will not get lost? Does she trust me to come back? Does she know that in the dog world eating food that is available is not a felony crime, its actually normal?
The first couple days were really hard for me. I was in tears several times. I am so grateful to [staff member] Kristin Neal for talking it through with me Saturday morning.
Sure I had unclipped the leather leash and that was the first step of the process, but unclipping the invisible, yet far more powerful mental and emotional leash on my dog was truly what I had to do.
I don't think it was until Saturday when I went on a solo hike with Makush, after talking with Kristin,that I realized that something really really amazing was happening for us. I was beginning a new way to BE with my dog. I know it will be a process that I will consciously have to work to develop not only with Makush but will all my dogs.
You know that saying: If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you its really yours, if not it never was? Well, camp has helped me to see more clearly than ever that no being can ever really be owned by another. My love for Makush is stronger now than ever. I am more able to see him in the world a free spirit, an independent being. I just have to allow him that. I am the person lucky enough to share in his life. That he came back to me by his decision, not by my control of him, makes me feel sure that not only have I chosen him but HE has chosen me. No real relationship can exist if BOTH beings are not actively choosing each other.
For this new awareness, I cannot thank you and Camp Unleashed enough. Kristin was so supportive to me at a time when I really needed someone to help me along the path, so please tell her woof once again from Makush and I.
— Meg and Makush